How to Help Someone with CRPS: The Do’s and Don’ts
🧠 Intro: Why This Matters
Complex Regional Pain Syndrome is an unpredictable, painful, and complex nerve condition. Its cause isn’t fully understood, which only adds to the confusion and frustration many feel.
Many people want to help but don’t know how—and sometimes well-meaning efforts can unintentionally cause harm.
This post is for anyone supporting someone with CRPS: friends, family, partners, coworkers, even online communities.
You don’t need to be a medical expert to make a difference—just heart, patience, and a willingness to learn. And by reading this post, you’re already taking the first step. 💖
✅ The Do’s
1. Do Ask What They Need (and Be Specific)
Instead of saying “Let me know if you need anything,” try:
“Would it help if I dropped off a meal this week?”
“Want me to come by and keep you company for a bit?”
“Can I help with projects or chores around the house?”
Offering specific, practical help eases the emotional labor of asking.
2. Do Respect Their Boundaries Without Taking It Personally
If they cancel or need alone time, it’s not about you.
Trust that they’re doing their best to honor their body and peace.
3. Do Believe Them
CRPS can be invisible. Just because someone looks “fine” doesn’t mean they’re not in pain.
Say: “I believe you,” “That sounds really hard,” or “Thank you for sharing this with me.”
And remember, for some, sharing their pain with you can be incredibly vulnerable. Please honor that vulnerability by truly listening—and holding it with care.
4. Do Offer Consistent Support (Not Just in Crisis)
Check in even when there’s no emergency.
Even if it's a quick call on your lunch break or a quick “thinking of you” text.
CRPS is a long-haul condition—support that lasts means the most.
5. Do Educate Yourself
Learn about CRPS on your own—this shows love and care.
Don’t make the person with CRPS carry the burden of always explaining everything.
(One of my closest friends spent all night looking for resources that could help me. This showed me how much she cares and because of this, she’s someone I’m very comfortable sharing my pain with. That kind of effort goes a long way. Trust me.)
❌ The Don’ts
1. Don’t Offer Unsolicited Advice or Miracle Cures
“Have you tried Pilates?” “Maybe it’s just stress!”
These can feel invalidating, even if well-intentioned.
Better: “Would you like to vent, or are you open to suggestions?”
2. Don’t Compare Their Pain to Someone Else’s
Avoid: “My cousin had back pain too.”
Everyone’s experience is different—and CRPS tends to be far more complex than most realize. This can feel belittling, even if it isn’t your intent.
3. Don’t Guilt Trip Them for Canceling or Changing Plans
Canceling isn’t flakiness—it’s survival.
Say: “No worries at all, let’s try again another time.”
4. Don’t Treat Them Like They’re Fragile or Broken
Respect their discretion. Don’t assume what they can or can’t do.
Always, always, ask. Let them lead.
5. Don’t Make It About You
It’s okay to feel worried or concerned, but vent to someone else if you’re overwhelmed by their diagnosis.
Keep in mind: they may already carry guilt about being a burden. If you vent about how you’re overwhelmed from their condition, this might make the guilt they carry even worse.
The focus should stay on their needs and experience.
🧡 Bonus: Little Things That Mean a Lot
Sending a funny meme when they’re stuck in bed
Bringing their favorite snack or drink without asking
Offering rides to appointments
Sitting with them during a flare-up (even in silence)
Saying “You don’t have to talk, I’m just here with you”
📌 Closing Thoughts
You don’t have to be perfect. Just showing up with love and curiosity matters.
Ask. Listen. Believe. Respect. Encourage.
Even small acts of care can feel huge to someone with CRPS.
You’re not expected to fix the pain—but your presence helps lighten the weight. 💛
With Warmth & Resilience
🌹Tala Röse
